Meet Essence Gray: Overcoming Trauma and Tragedy to Build a Life of Strength and Service

By NYEC | June 11, 2023

Quick Take. Essence Gray overcame extraordinary hardships by focusing on her desire to serve her community. With the help of EmployIndy, she completed several training programs, found her footing, and now serves as a Life Coach at the IndyPeace Fellowship where she counsels and supports justice-involved Opportunity Youth.

Early Years. From her earliest days, Essence faced challenges to her physical, mental, and emotional health. “I grew up in poverty,” she explains. “My mom and I didn’t have any stability.” As a very young child, she moved from place-to-place, back-and-forth between her mother, her aunts, and her grandparents. When she was in preschool, she and her mother lived in Weyrbacher Terrace, a massive, subsidized housing project in north Indianapolis which had fallen into disrepair. “Even though I was very young, I still remember the crime and violence,” Essence recalls.

When her mother became temporarily incapacitated, Essence moved back in with her grandparents and attended kindergarten at a nearby elementary school. But the next year was spent with her father. “All he wanted us to learn about was the street,” Essence remembers. “He was like – don’t go to school if you don’t want to. He was not a good role model.

“But then mom got herself together,” Essence says, “and I went back with her. We moved and I attended a different school and had to repeat first grade.” Eventually, that school was closed for its persistently low performance and Essence was able to attend a Blue Ribbon School. “It was amazing,” Essence recalls. “I learned Mandarin in the fifth grade!” But then she and her two brothers were removed from her mother’s home by the Marion County Department of Children’s Services and sent back to her grandparents.

Reflecting on these early years, Essence vividly remembers the ongoing uncertainty and trauma but can also find a silver lining. “I had to learn and adapt to other peoples’ rules, attitudes, and personalities,” she explains. “As a result, now I can enter any room, assess the situation, and try to solve any difficulties that arise.”

Progress and a Set Back. Essence was homeless throughout her high school years, living with friends and relatives. “But I still went to school every day,” she remembers.

Then came in her ninth grade year. “I attended a small college preparatory school that focused on real-world learning. That shifted everything for me—it exposed the lies from my childhood.” Essence worked with her principal to determine her best next steps. “There really wasn’t anyone else to help me with the decision, so we considered several options,” Essence remembers. “One was Crispus Attucks, where many of my relatives had attended. But I wanted to chart my own path and become a lawyer, so I decided on Shortridge High School, which focused on service and rigorous academics and offered International Baccalaureate coursework to all students.

“It was a complete cultural shock!” Essence remembers. “I had attended small schools and Shortridge seemed huge. It had just expanded and had one of the best gymnasiums in the country. And the walls were lined with photos of famous graduates—politicians, cultural icons, and famous celebrities.”

Essence completed her final three years of high school at Shortridge and made the most of it. “I was passionate about so many things there—basketball, poetry, media, and technology, and I joined several afterschool programs. But through it all, I kept my mind focused on what I needed to get out of each situation I was in.”

One of her afterschool activities was “Life Beyond Shortridge,” designed to open students’ eyes to future opportunities. Essence entered a writing contest offered by the program that invited students to reflect on what kind of business they would like to create. “I wrote about starting a media company that helps people learn to speak and communicate about their lives and the challenges they face, and also offers internships for local young people,” Essence recalls. And she wanted it to have a music component. “I thought—if people can put their pain into a song, then maybe it won’t be so hard to bear.”

Essence won first prize in the writing contest and was awarded an internship with Ice Miller LLP, a large, Indianapolis-based law firm with offices throughout the Midwest and eastern United States.

Still thinking of becoming an attorney, Essence enrolled in Vincennes University where she studied business administration with a minor in audio production. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse during and after her first college year. “I was in a toxic relationship and became pregnant,” she says. “Then, I was arrested during the last month of my second semester.” Essence served six weeks in the county jail and then experienced a series of short-term housing stays as well as homelessness. During this time, she was washing dishes at fast food restaurants to support herself and her toddler.

“I knew I needed help,” Essence says. “I felt that my life wasn’t supposed to be like this. I couldn’t just sit around and wash dishes all my life. What difference was I making?” And with the advent of Covid, life became even more challenging.

EmployIndy Offers a Path. Fortunately, her sister-in-law told Essence about the Youth Employment Services (YES) program managed by EmployIndy, the City’s workforce development board. Even though she was suffering from the aftermath of a physical assault, she enrolled in the Pepup Tech program, which focuses on bringing students of color into computer science and technology. After successful completion, she enrolled in the Salesforce certification program offered by YES. “It was a good class,” Essence says. “I was really struggling at that point due to my injuries, but no one knew that, and I just went straight through the training. I wish I had been able focus more, but it worked out in the long run.”

Leaders at EmployIndy noticed Essence’s drive. “When she first came to YES, she was seeking direction, purpose, and community,” says Rev. Rodney T. Francis, EmployIndy’s Chief Program Officer. “And she persisted through our mindsets and job readiness empowerment experiences, occupational training, and work-based learning opportunities. It was impressive.”

Based on her performance in the trainings, Essence was invited to apply for an internship with EmployIndy. “I think I was the last person to be interviewed,” Essence recalls. “We got along really well—there was a spark between us.”

Essence joined the Strategy and Research team in late 2020, where she worked on a variety of data analyses—report personalization, data mechanization, and many others. She also was a key contributor to the implementation of EmployIndy’s new customer relationship management system, which was a critical component of the organization’s internal re-organization. “The internship was extended several times and I had the opportunity to really dig deeper,” Essence says.

And her work was valued. “Having Essence as a team member at EmployIndy allowed us to really live out our ethos and experience the value that young, diverse talent brings to organizations,” says Marie Mackintosh, EmployIndy president & CEO, who served as the Chief Strategy Officer during Essence’s time on the Strategy and Research team. “It was a wonderful experience to help Essence use our programs and tools to advance her career.”

Reverend Francis agrees. “She has risen naturally as a leader among her peers,” he says, “introducing and recruiting other Opportunity Youth into YES Indy.”

Essence also appreciates the career guidance she received at EmployIndy. “My career navigator would look me straight in the eye and didn’t pull any punches. She broke me down to build me up—therapy, counseling, support—anything I needed.”

New Opportunities. In summer 2021, Essence began an internship with the Martindale-Brightwood Community Development Corporation, which promotes sustainable residential and economic growth in the two communities. “I was assistant to the executive director,” she says. “From that vantage point I was able to see how an ED worked on a day-to-day basis—how she held herself and moved about in certain situations. And there were so many networking opportunities — meeting with legislators and learning how other nonprofits operate. I really began to see myself doing that kind of work. I loved that internship—it was the best!”

In September, Essence’s CDC experience enabled her to transition smoothly to an internship with Public Allies Indianapolis,1 working at the American Red Cross where she continued her efforts with the Martindale-Brightwood community. She participated in several meaningful projects, including events aimed at heightening awareness about the importance of home fire alarms, fighting food insecurity in food deserts, and working with refugees. Given the reach of the American Red Cross, Essence also developed an appreciation for larger issues beyond Indianapolis.

While participating in Power Huddle, a YES-operated intensive training for Opportunity Youth, Essence learned about the IndyPeace Fellowship, a key part of Indianapolis Mayor Hogsett’s violence reduction plan that connects individuals from the communities they serve to those who are at the highest risk of being trapped in the cycles of crime and violence. “I had lost two female cousins to violence and was looking for a way to heal,” Essence explains. “And the IndyPeace Fellowship gave me a chance to do that.”

Today, Essence serves as a Life Coach to support justice-involved Opportunity Youth enrolled in the Fellowship program. “We focus on helping high risk individuals who meet at least 7 of 10 risk factors,” she explains. “We build them up over 12-18 months, working with them to set and meet their goals.”

“The greatest reward is helping to shape others and being part of a team of caring people. Although I’m just a small part of it, I know I’m passing along useful tools and knowledge.” One of the most challenging things is building motivation. “They get caught in real world situations and it’s tough to stay on the right path. I motivate them to stay on course but sometimes you have to intervene with the family, or you get a phone call and you can’t get there in time. So, I have to make those connections, so they can stay alive.”

It’s also helpful that Essence is close to the same age as many of her clients. “Being around their age also helps. I can understand and help to navigate the situation. I was once one of them but now I’m in a better situation. We should be creating as many leaders as we need for those who need additional help.”

Reflections on Life and Work. When asked how she would try to reach young people who are struggling and might not know where to turn, Essence responds forcefully. “I’d take them to a mirror, or my camera phone, and ask: What do you see? Look inside yourself. And if you see something you don’t like then you have to change it. Of course, I know it’s not easy. It’s one thing to hear advice and another thing to follow it, particularly when things get tough.”

Thinking about approaches to advocating for young people with policymakers, Essence says, “first, I would greet them politely, and then invite them to look all around and think not only about where we are now but where we want to be. And then, I’d ask them to realize that the people who are going to lead the future are right here in this room, and that they are worthy of our support because they are the future. It’s about the lifespan of what our civilization can be and how it can change.”

Considering her own goals for the future, Essence is excited about the work of helping others. “I love the work that I do and the network I have,” she says (the Fellowship program works closely with the National Institute for Criminal Justice Reform). “I’d like to stay for at least 18 months and want to put myself through college, but I don’t want to detract from my mission. I ultimately want to be able to help other communities and shape the world through technology in ways that haven’t been attempted before.”

Reflecting on her experiences at EmployIndy, Essence is extremely grateful. “They offered me so much help,” she says, “mental, physical, emotional. Whatever I needed to make my mind safe and sound and clear—gas card, phone, short on rent, utilities—whatever barrier I faced, they helped me overcome it.”